I am a planner! Every year my mother-in-law buys me an Erin Condren planner for Christmas. That planner is with me ALL the time. Each family member has a color for their activities. Chris is Green. Will is Red. Whitaker is Orange. And I use my favorite, Cyan/Aqua Tiffany Blue Color for all my activities. Then I sprinkle in Purple for various other things.
This past week, my planner was like a rainbow. Lots of activities. All great plans- Bible study, lunch with friends, dinner with friends (that we can never get to happen), Easter Egg Hunts, Spa Day with Momma-to-Be, and then just all the other activities that are part of being a mom of two.
Friday morning came early with tornado sirens in Milton, GA. As we gathered the troops to go to the basement, I realized I felt horrible. Like roll me in a ball to the corner bad. But I continued with my morning realizing that mommas don’t roll in balls and hide. As the day progressed, the worse I felt and it became clear my body was overtaken by something awful. Possibly I had eaten a barbed wire and now it was thrashing in my body. (You get it!) Or it was an oyster the night before that did not settle right. Or it was food poisoning. Or I was truly dying! Yes, I go there fast. Plus curled up in bed with the help of my WebMD at hand I was diagnosed with multiple illnesses.
Enough with the my barbed wire stomach, fetal position, and holding on for dear life. Let’s celebrate that my newly five year old took great care of himself that day while dining on fruit loops, organic fruit snacks, pretzels, and whatever else he could reach in the pantry.
All that aside, let’s go back to my planner! My day was filled with great events. I had a neighborhood Easter Egg hunt that I was in charge of pulling off. That night Chris and I had dinner plans with two amazing couples we can’t seem to get together with. Don’t even look over to Saturday. That was a day at the spa with a momma-to-be and yummy lunch. And it was Easter WEEKEND!!
As the barbed wire took over my body, I began to get upset, angry, and sad. Why!?! I was so looking forward to this weekend. All my plans were good, purposeful, and fun! I had made them in advanced. There were items purchased. Dinner reservations and spa appointments had been made. And now I am curled up and MAD!
So, where does my madness go? Where does my blame start? You guys, I started questioning GOD! What!?! Oh yes, in the middle of sadness and pain, my sinful and human heart started asking God about all this. (Yes, complete madness! And that’s why I’m sharing this now!) It’s amazing how quickly I can get upset and look for someone to blame. As I laid there in bed, I tried to rationalize it all out. My heart knew that God was not punishing me. He did not want me to be sick or have a barbed wire in tummy. He is good and He loves me. It was the devil trying to get the best of me. Yes, the devil loves for me to get down and look for blame. The devil wants nothing more than for me to question God. The devil loves when I look at my planner for guidance and not to God.
Saturday afternoon I realized it was time to try to eat. I made toast. For a moment I thought about the yummy Italian lunch I was suppose to be eating. Although that would have been amazing, I was happy about my toast.
It was NOT my plan but it was a plan that was good. The barbed wire left that evening. I had a peaceful night sleep and woke up on Easter morning feeling wonderful.
I am a continued work-in-progress. Daily, I need reminders that my plans might not be the way the day turns. I can make all the colorful plans I want but there are days that nothing is going to go the way I want. In each day, God is good. God loves me. God has great plans for me. He has great plans for you. It’s easy to get caught up in the “barbed wire” of life.
Are you a planner? Have you had days that don’t go as planned?
Keep Singing and Dancing,